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Monday, September 21, 2009

A little bit

of love and patience is what everyone needs now a days.
what is wrong with our forbidden love and web of emotions?
i cant handle it anymore
so much has happened in such little time.
if i was to list the things that have been going on, i will surely write a book out of this blog of nonsense.

Monday, im already beat
just school and work, and i keep procrastinating
ghjkhjkhj
maybe i should quit my job and dedicate time only for school and my time, but then MY time requires money,
and i aint go no daddy made of sugar -___-

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Out of my mind

Hey
im just a small little girl, all alone in this world!
i dont know whats going on with me recently, but i have been so emotional lately.
im scared of being hurt
i refuse to get hurt, i want to make this season a good season.
Fall is my favorite season because i can wear black all the time and see all the leaves fall on the ground.
I can be feel the sadness of the darker skies, because they blend so much with me in this time.
FALL FALL FALL
its a good season because it is just like me, it is my twin.

ahh, i love to ramble along with myself.

same old
different day
good night

SMILE

My friend told me to smile
and i did :)
now i am soo happy!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Havent been here in a while.....

i bet everyone thought i quit my blog :(
nope i didnt.
i had stopped writing because of the death of someone close to me.
i was in shock and really busy, wow, so much has happened.
school started and im taking photography finally :)
and all the rest of my classes are great but these textbooks are gonna kill me soon.
i should be working on two essays right now, but i am being so lazy i dunno why.
The saturday i passed i went to a street festival where i got tons of bracelets :)
i didnt take pictures because i had my film camera, and i have to develop them.
i cant wait to start using the dark room and doing my own projects, i just need motivation thats all :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

CRAZY IS NOT THE WORD

Im really sick and tired of these weird dreams i am having from time to time.
Last night i pretty much read a little, and then i went to sleep because i couldnt take it anymore.
so in this dream somehow i have a boyfriend, but in the dream im younger, maybe like 16 or 17.
In the dream my so called boyfriend is a secret boyfriend, no one knows about him, only close friends.
so then later on in the dream i find myself throwing up and feeling sick all the time, and then my mom comes in the dream screaming at me, and yellin "how can you have done this to us!"
and im like what are you talking about, and shes like "Your Pregnant and you better have the baby"
im like "wtf"?
so now im pregnant and for sure i know its my boyfriend's baby, but then when i look for my boyfriend he is no where to be found at all, like he never existed. So my mom asks me who is the father of the baby, and im like i have no idea, he is gone.
wow
so then later on im like 9 months in the dream and im ready to have the baby.
I go into labor and start getting really sharp pains, and im yelling for help and no one comes to help me, and i end up having the baby by myself with out no problem.
I pushed him out and everything alone, wtf.
so now this is what freaks me out, the baby i had was a boy, but this baby did not look nothing like me. It had light skin and really perfect features, it had greenish greyish eyes, he had some thick curly hair and yeah, he looked like a mixed baby, but i cant explain the meaning of this dream.
Then i woke up just confused,